Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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