Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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