i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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