The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
