Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
