I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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