Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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