My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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