i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
