I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
