just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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