oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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