butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
