We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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