i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
