I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
