'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
