I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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