Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
