I feel great
I just peed on a car
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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