he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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