the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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