That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
