I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
