I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
