come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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