In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
