My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
