If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
