You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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