I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize