your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
