You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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