You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sober January is a disaster.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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