They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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