I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
