Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
