Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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