we made out on top of his cat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize