You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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