But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
