yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
