Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
