he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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