one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize