Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
