You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
home. puking in laundry basket.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
