I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
