hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize