Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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