Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
