All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
