my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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