I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
