so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
