just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize