Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
