I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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