He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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