You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
