Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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